Yoga!!!!!

This is Leah  and I am so excited. Everyone has agreed to try to start to do yoga.  Our back seems to be weak and so that makes it difficult but we are hoping that the yoga makes our lower back stronger.  We are doing it 3 to 5 times a week, 1 to 2 times a day.  We are not doing long workouts but short, beginning level workouts. Everyone stops when we get tired.  No one wants to work so hard that we get burned out. No one wants to do it so much that we get tired.  We are also doing an occasional cardio work out. 

I have to say that Mariah and Kat are still workaholics. Take it up between 6:15 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. every morning to work at 8:00 at Oranum. I think it's great that they only work an hour to 2 hours so that they don't get burned out and because they get sick of the people. And then they take about a three-hour break. Then at noon they start to their "sitting" jobs where they wait for people to call them or notify them on the computer that they want a reading. They work something like 4 - 7 online jobs. I am not exaggerating. They say that we need the money and that is what we do for a living and they really love it. I say I would rather be exercising. But they say that is my eating disorder. They say everything is my eating disorder. Right now I have a very bad headache and they say that is from not eating. Well, that's all for me. Would love it if you left a comment. No one ever leaves a comment.:-(

I am conflicted.

I Want More Control...Leah

This is Leah. I want to program the body to be satiated and satisfied with very little food through out the day.  I found out that the best times to take auto suggestions are right before falling asleep and right as you wake up.  So I am thinking maybe I can program the others to get with the program.

I can't wait till we are off this cancer drug and I can really start making the body lose weight.  I can start us doing yoga and then Jazzercise and then elliptical and then more often until we are exercising whenever we can.  That will be a lot.  It's about time I have some control back.  I am also going to program us to not have headaches.  I think I can do that.  In fact, I can do that.  I am strong that way.

Jeff Gutt is "Feeling Good" - THE X FACTOR USA 2013

Jeff Gutt stands alone and rocks "Without You" - THE X FACTOR USA 2013

Alex & Sierra "Say Something" in an unplugged performance! - THE X FACTO...

Here We Go Again

This is Kat.  Another mood swing and down I go.  I always know I am having one because I get this sinking feeling and often I just get the thought of wanting to die.  I start thinking about how I can combine my meds to make myself sleep for a long time.  This tells me there is something definitely wrong.

I am also getting tons of headaches.  Daily headaches.  It is starting to wear on me.  I have to watch how much headache med I take because it is possible to get rebound headaches.  That is just a viscous cycle.

I am just so tired. 

I Need Sleep!!

I am Leah.  It has been very hard lately.  The body is not sleeping.  Everyone thinks it is because of a new cancer drug we are taking that causes insomnia.  Patients and the pharmacists says it can cause insomnia but the doctor says it can't.  We think the doctor does not want to admit it.  We goes nights without sleep.  Even Trazadone does not get us to sleep.  This is the last drug I can try.  The doctor said I could go off the drug but it would double our chances of relapsing.  DID symptoms get worse without sleep.  Mariah is working when we don't sleep.  She can work at Oranum anytime she can get make-up on.

Someone is damaging the body and it is NOT me.  They are hurting the chest.  They are getting up in the middle of the night and damaging the body.  Finally, Littlebit came out and told Katz cause no one else was going to.  Katz immediately wanted to hospitalize.  Kat hurriedly came out and told her that we were not suicidal and intensive outptt was not nec.  Katz put us on Abilify and increased the Prozac which made her fill better.  I don't think anything is gonna help till we can lose weight and get off this fucking med.  This is Kat.

I hate pink print.  I am fairly discouraged.  That's it folks.  Oh and we are depressed but not so much that someone else would notice it.  It is just hard to take a shower, hard to keep focus, etc