I am Kat. I am so worried and feel so out of control. My calorie count got to 950 and now Leah and Angela are talking about making a list of the lowest calorie food with the least amount of sugar that we can eat in a day. I think I lost a pound this morning so I don't know why they are so upset. I don't want to fuck myself up any more. They want to only allow us to eat between 500 - 700 a day. This cancer med does not allow me to lose but what other damage am I doing to my body? I already have osteopenia which is right before osteoporosis. I already have the beginning of cateracts. How is all my weird eating effecting that? I am so scared. I take laxatives now. Kat is thinking about exercising which is great until she get compulsive and obsessive. I really just want to die sometimes. I really do! I am so tired of all this shit. I have so many things wrong with me and I see no end in sight.
If you are reading this and identify with me, please comment. I till make me feel less alone.
This is a very personal blog. Read it but be aware that you may be triggered. I am not editing what I say. This whole blog has a massive TRIGGER WARNING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
No comments:
Post a Comment