POSSIBLE TRIGGERING!!!! BLODD AND ABUSE

This is Kat.  You know, Mariah use to be the therapist.  And I am not sure what kind of group abused us.  I don't hold those memories.  And the ones that do still have not shared everything.  And I worry that this metaphysical stuff...the going to school part is going to re traumatize Mariah and anyone else that listens in.  So far the readings that we have bought seem pretty tame.  I could feel a rumble in the system where it read that old shaman's would use the blood of animals to help them journey with the power of the animal.  But then it turned around and said the today's shamans do not use the blood. I know that blood was involved in our abuse.  It is hard to type this.  I am not suppose to tell.  But I do tell and I tell as often as I can .  And I say fuck that...to keep silent any longer. 

It just made a rumble a bit.  I just want to make sure no one is re-traumatize.  I don't want the Evil One to start moving around because that just make the Insides shake when she stands up.  And the one on the outside feels it.  It feels a little like an earthquake.  It's not nice to get the Evil One upset for no reason.  I am just keeping my eye out.  Mariah and her exploring could not be such a good idea.  So far the meditations seems to help us think clearer.  I like that.

i JUST REALIZED, the Evil One has fangs!  I think she would actually bite someone that tried to hurt the body or someone for which the body cared.  She is not afraid of blood.  She is the one that had to deal with the blood that was meant for Helen.  She would come out, take care of business, and to back in before any one knew of her.  I only found out about her when she would come out or get really close to the light when I took a self defense class.  Where I was loud and cursing when I defended myself; the EO would be silent and only make a sound when she hit.  She needs to be louder when she defends so help comes.  But all she is thinking is how best to kill the person attacking.  She is far more strong than the rest of us...mentally and physically.  I admire her courage.  And I don't admire many.