Up again...Kat and Mariah

Here I am...Kat...here we are...staying up because we didn't eat enough during the day and we're hungry.  We did have a fruit drink made by the handy dandy Vitamix that I love.  So I have decided to stay up.  I have also decided that if I can't eat and can't sleep I will have some caffeinated tea,  I do this to make staying up easier.  I know I should go to sleep but Mariah has some good books she's been pouring over.  I think she wants to be a pagan...I think we already are a pagan.  

This not eating when my body is telling me that I am gut level hungry is weird.  I get nauseous when I am too hungry and then I have to only eat certain things that will not make me feel sicker.  Like soup and saltines...5 crackers to be exact.  Only 5.  And the soup has to be the 50 calorie instant kind.  I have to eat all of it so we know how much the body took in.  God we are such fruit loops.

I am also working an online job while I am staying up just in case anyone wants to talk.  Yes, you see that Keen button.  If you call that it will be me.  

I think the tea is working.  I 'm yawning less.  Mariah is PUSHING FORWARD so she can read her books.  I really wish some of you would follow us or put some comments in the comment session.  You can't tell me I have not made you think. What would you do if my life was yours?  If you say "kill myself" believe me it is not like I have not thought of it.  But I don't want to leave my animals and husband...actually he is my boyfriend and Mariah's husband.  Maybe someday we will have a ceremony where I marry him. A hand fasting this time.  That is what they do in the Wicca tradition.  But I am not Wicca so maybe we will just get a second marriage or what ever it's called. 

 THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING

I love animals.  Actually we all do.  I can't think of a single self that does not like animals.  The Evil One is limited to her contact with the Black Panther.  She doesn't really care for anything else except doing her job.  I wonder if she will ever get out of that jungle and start to live a life.  It would be hard as she would always be on the defensive with people.  She could start a lot of fights.  Oh I am Mariah and I have tons of compassion for the EO.  She saved us.  We would be so much more screwed up if it were not for her.  Her courage is amazing.  She saved our lives.  We COULD NOT do what they asked us to do so she came out and did the deeds.  They made her think she was doing awful, horrible, unspeakable things.  It makes me so sad and grateful.  I wish she could have a life.  Maybe I will talk to Lisa, my therapist, about this topic.  She has some great ideas and knows how to work with this kind of stuff.